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vicodin,percoset,oxycotyn,heroin |
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I hurt my back and my roomate gave me some pills which were oxy's.I was working long hours and they gave me energy,I was able to multy task and get by on no sleep.Over the next three years I gradually went from weekly to daily.I would get what i thought was the flu every other week.I had no idea I was dependant on the pills.
Eventually I admitted I had a problem and I started losing control of everything.I was spending at least $300 a week on painkillers.The first time I really tried to stop I made it two months and then ran into a girl who had vicodin and just like that it started again.Many jobs later I attempted again,I met this guy who seemed great and he had access to suboxone to help me quit.I began taking the suboxone which I realize now are acually stronger than the painkillers I was taking.
Anyway,the guy I met turned out to be a heroin dealer and eventually I started using that.I thought it was cheaper and better.Soon after that I began letting him shoot me up with it.That was the begining of the end.I worked when I wasn't sick to pay for it,lied,stole, and did whatever I had to do to get high. |
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My turning point was when I lost our home and sold everything in it.I have three children who were sleeping on a friends floor with me. My daughter who was 6 at time,came home early from a visit.She came running into the bathroom as my boyfriend was shooting me up.I called my aunt and told her everything,she came and got us and I started detox two days later |
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I went through an outpatient suboxone clinic for eight days. I then found a doctor who specializes in addiction. I got lucky finding him because it made all the difference in my treatment. I mean he would tell me not to worry about payments when I didn't have them, just be here for group.
I thought I would hate going to a group but it has helped me in so many different ways.It's been a little over a year and I am still fighting to be normal again.I've hurt so many people,but most of all my children who have always been my whole world.I can never undo what I've done,I can only try to make ammends. |
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Please think before you try anything.If you are an addict,or in recovery, don't give up.It takes a long time to recover but it's worth it.Take all the help you can get and don't be affraid to ask for help.Most importantly Forgive Yourself! |
