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Stories of Recovery
Name: |
Nick |
Age: |
27 |
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| Drug of Choice: |
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OxyContin, Suboxone |
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| How did you become addicted? |
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In college, I was a casual drug user...coke, Ectacy, weed...basically doin the frat house thing...None of these drugs ever became a problem, and I stopped them easily when i graduated. I remember telling people that I'm just one of those people who doesn't get addicted to drugs...Then about 2 years ago, a friend gave me Oxycontin.
After a few months of casual use (40-80mg a week), I began using OC more frequently. Since they are so expensive, i had an opportunity to buy 100 80mg pills for about 20% of the cost of buying them 1 by 1. After 2 weeks, all 100 pills were gone, and I was addicted. My arms and legs began twitching, and those tremors became worse and worse. I didn't know what was happening, but when I learned that i was withdrawing, and my symptoms were piling up (vomiting, diarreah, EXTREME insomnia, awful tremors, couldnt eat(lost 20 lbs in a month), I knew I was in trouble.
Some fellow abusers told me about suboxone, but I didn't have insurance to go to a doc, so I would get a suboxone from friends here and there, and basically spent a few months flip-flopping between OC and suboxone, until eventually I got insurance and was prescribed suboxone, which I took for about a year. |
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| Your turning point? (What made you choose recovery?) |
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My turning point was when I began to wake up every day feeling more and more cloudy, foggy...I couldn't focus my thoughts and never had motivation. I decided I had enough suboxone, and was sick of relying on a pill to feel "normal". I weened down the suboxone to 1mg every other day, then picked a good time and quit.
I added suboxone to my list of drugs addicted to because I can assure you that withdrawal from suboxone IS A LIVING NIGHTMARE...Its equal to heroin or OC, except instead of 4-6 days, its 15-25 days OF FULL BLOWN WITHDRAWAL!!...I stayed awake for 8 days straight at one point, shaking and vomiting the whole time. By day 35, I was starting to feel better, and was happy to be drug free...Next thing I knew I was on a 5 day OC bender, and when that ended, I withdrew all over again for 5 days. |
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| Tell us about your recovery. |
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The month I withdrew from suboxone was the worst experience I have and will ever feel in my life. I suffered so much and worked so hard to get there, and when I finally got through it, I jumped right back into what got me there. So when I lay shivering in my bed for a second time, i knew right then that this was not something I could do alone.
Addiction is a brain disease...If you had liver disease or heart disease, you wouldn't try and fix it on your own...You need help! I cant afford rehab and my family has no clue about any of this, so I turned to Narcotics Anonymous (NA). I walked in so ashamed and embarrassed, and was embraced and inspired by a group of people who lived my struggles and were there to support me...
Now I am 100% drug free for 47 days, and the first time i am without any drug since I was 19 or 20, I am finally starting to feel normal again...and I even feel happy sometimes! |
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| Your advice to others? |
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1. Oxycontin is so addictive, so avoid it...but if you are on this site, that advice may be too late..
2. If your doctor prescribes suboxone, be cautious. If you are on OC and heroin, suboxone is great to help you quit and stop your cravings, BUT DONT TAKE SUBOXONE FOR MORE THAN 2 WEEKS!, even though your doctor will recommend it...I know it sounds crazy to go against a doctor, but they really dont know too much about the drug...it contains 2 drugs, subetex (a powerful opiod that gives your body the opioid it now depends on from your drug abuse...and the other drug is naloxone(which stops you from getting high from the subetex.)
Nalaxone builds up a barrier in your brain to block the opiods from getting you high...good for recovery, but BAD BAD BAD for withdrawal. When you quit suboxone, the nalaxone stays on the brain for a long time, 2-3 months, and thats why the withdrawal is soooo much longer than OC or heroin withdrawal.
SO, if you only take suboxone for 2 weeks, reducing your dosage every 2 days by 1 or 2 mgs, your withdraw will be much shorter and easier...When you take suboxone, you are still relying on opiads to function, so know that some day you WILL have to quit, and you WILL withdraw...I'm not religious, but if there is a God, then withdraw is his way to tell you to never do this to yourself again! Good Luck, you are not alone! |
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