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My story all started about 7 years ago after multiple car accidents and a herniated disc. I will never forget the day the doctor called me 7 years ago and said I have a herniated disc and it is time for Percocet. I can still hear his voice. That was the beginning of the end. It started out like all the other stories, taking 1 or 2 a day as perscribed. Now 7 years later I am up to 20 perc or 3 40mg oxy's or 1 40mg methadone tablet, whatever I can get my hands on or afford. It did not help that I was and I say "was" a registered nurse. which made pills readily available.
I would steal from my patients, many of the doctors I worked with would write me perscribtions for what ever I wanted. I would forge perscribtions. Almost got caught on that one. I was caught at two different nursing jobs stealing from the narcotic drawer. I was fired from both jobs and turned into the State Board. It was a very strict program for which I kept failing and making it worse by failing random drug tests and missing meetings.
It got to the point I would rather use than go thru the Nursing State board program. So I turned in my license and dropped out of nursing. All so I could keep using. |
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Well, here I am now with a crappy job, lost custody of my children. I only have weekend visitation now. I lost my apartments and I am now living with my mom. I spend all my money on pills. My account is always overdrawn.
Stealing pills from anyone who I find has them. Always making up reasons why I need more money from my boss, who happens to be my friend. I realize if I keep this up, histroy shows that things will keep on getting worse. I have tried rehab and quitting cold turkey and nothing worked for me. I think I did not want it bad enough. |
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I made an appointment last week to start on Suboxone therapy and so far so good. I have been clean now for 9 days and I am actually starting to feel normal. It is great to not have to think about where, how many, when about pills, pills, pills. With the suboxone I have no withdrawal but I know when I am weaned off the sub, I will have to endure some discomfort.
I am attending meetings, and have the support of my family. I want this so bad. I am willing to do anything to have my life back. To be able to enjoy the world and the simple things like playing with my children without having to be high on a handful of pills. |
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I have tried to quit so many times. Never and I mean never stop trying. You will probably fail the first or even the second time to try to quit. What is important is that you keep trying and happiness and sucess will follow. God Bless |
